Burn Before Reading
by dragonfly360
Summary: -I'm sorry... I can't ever be with you after this.- Her letter was tattered, her heart aching, and her things gone. GaaSaku. Post Shippuuden. One-shot.


Hm, I'm really not quite sure where this came from lol. Ah well, hopefully you will read and... enjoy!

Disclaimer: phhhfft... I don't own anything.

*

_You recognise my writing, I'm sure. And even though this is from me, please read it._

_Firstly, I never wanted this to happen. I never would have thought myself capable. __Please believe me when I tell you I never wanted it to turn out like this... To end like this._

_Actually I don't really want to do this. Everything in me screams this is wrong, this is so, so wrong of me, that this isn't how it should be done at all. I should have tried harder, I should be trying harder right now._

_I regret what I'm doing and I'm sorry, but I'm not going to stop. I can't stop. I've already done so much damage there's no point trying to take it back. I have no faith anymore, I don't believe you could ever forgive me for what I did. Nor do I hope you'll understand. I can't expect you to be a better person than me._

_The problem is with me, not you. Never you. I know it is so much to ask but please believe me. _

_I've changed. I don't think I'm the same person you fell for... I don't recognise myself in the mirror in the mornings anymore... Yeah, that's what I was doing, those times you came up behind me and hugged me and kissed me on the shoulder. I was trying to figure out who I was. And I turned and clung onto you so hard because I was afraid. I've always known who I am before now._

_I don't think I'm the girl that loves you. I think I'm a girl that did fall in love with you, but could never truly love someone that way. I don't think my 'love' lasts._

_It's funny really... Everyone always said you were the person who couldn't love. Remember their surprise when they saw us? Together, I mean. Me, the girl who 'loves' so passionately she didn't let go or give up hope for years. I didn't love him, I swear to you now I didn't. I thought I did, all I saw was a face and an idea, not a real person. I never thought about him, about who he was, why he did this or that. I didn't think about his feelings and didn't care, I just wanted him for myself. I was selfish and young and I regret handing him my heart. Even if it's mine, it's still... not worthless. It didn't deserve to be torn up that way._

_This is all confusing for you, maybe it doesn't make sense. But this is how I'm thinking, this is everything I've thought and I'm going to tell you because you at least deserve to know._

_I really am sorry. I never intended this..._

_I want to stay. I want to stay with you so badly my heart is aching, and when I think of you reading this... I still care for you, I think I will always care._

_But I have to leave, I have to go back. I can't live like this. It's killing me... I wish I could ask you to come with me, but that was never an option._

_Kami, I wish I wasn't so messed up. Then I would still love you as much as I once did, and I would stay and be happy with you. I think that's all I want... But I can't have it. And it's my fault. It's all my fault._

_Do you remember that day, at the oasis? Of course you do... I do, and I will never forget. I will always remember it, it was the best day of my life. If only all my days were like that._

_Maybe I'm stupid. Do you think so? Perhaps I'm just confused and should not do this, should at least talk to you, and stop being a coward. __Writing you a letter before leaving to go back to Konoha... I never thought I'd stoop this low. I never thought I'd do what I did to you. I thought myself better than that. I thought I at least had more self-control. But I don't. I made a mistake I regret, and one I'm sure he does as well._

_I hope you find someone better, much better than me. Much more worthy of who you are and everything you've managed. Someone that loves you as you deserve, loves you properly. Someone who makes you glad every morning that you decided to turn away from the darkness._

_I guess I don't believe I love you anymore because I would never, ever cheat on someone I loved. It would tear me up, I would be standing there, thinking that no I can't do this, I won't. Instead, I laughed and let him take me home._

_...I would have liked to see you one last time, just one last hug, and leave smelling exactly like you. But I won't ask so much of you, it would be the most unfair thing._

_I'm sorry Gaara. I loved you and I'm very glad I did, but I truly hate myself now. I can't ever be with you after this._

_Sakura._

He couldn't imagine how the paper had managed to become so tattered so quickly. It was bent all over the place, a little crumpled and torn even. He had recognised the handwriting, oh yes, even though he could tell she had been writing at a furiously quick place in most places and it was therefore a bit different, messier. He could still see the ink, sometimes a little splattered, shining wetly under the glare of the light.

He could see the places where her tears had fallen.

He frowned, his hand tightened into a fist at his side. He carefully folded up the piece of paper and tucked it away.

Perhaps it was that he'd been waiting for love so long, for this feeling, that he was so unwilling to let go. He was more than willing to forgive her, despite her statement that she couldn't even _hope _that he could.

Quickly forming seals with his hands, he disappeared in a whirlwind of sand. He appeared in the same fashion on the top of his Village's fortifications, the wall around the village, searching the desert around him for her. When he saw a brief flash of colour, pink amongst all the glittering yellow, he instantly ordered the sand that had been hovering about him into a cloud in front of him. He stepped onto it and started travelling towards her, not bothering to be particularly quiet. He had already made the mistake of underestimating her skill as a shinobi, and she had tried to strangle him. He wouldn't try to hide his presence, it would be a mistake, and one that only God knew how she would interpret.

He arrived in the air nearly right on top of her, making the sun behind him cast a shadow onto her form.

She didn't turn around, be he knew she was aware of him.

Once he had stepped off his sand, she stopped walking.

"Sakura," He started out saying her name in the way she loved the most, drawing out the last syllable as he would when teasing her.

Her head lowered a bit at this, and he guessed she was fighting a rueful smile.

"Gaara," She sighed, and he knew she was closing her eyes when her face turned towards the sky. He knew she was close to tears, wondering 'why does he do this? Why can't he just let me leave...' Maybe that should offend him.

"I forgive you."

She turned at that. His eyes locked onto her shocked face and stayed focused there.

"But... why?"

"Because you regret it and won't do it again."

He remembered the moment he realised what he was seeing perfectly. A cold fish had clenched around his heart and squeezed harder when she looked up at him, eyes far too unfocused and unaware for him to properly blame her. He tried to stop her fleeing and failed, despite her iniebriated state. He supposed she assumed he would be angry.

Her eyes widened. Her mouth opened and shut several times in a silent stutter.

"But I..."

"You were wrong. There is no one better than you, Sakura. And you do love me, because you _are_ torn up about it, so much that you've managed to get your own feelings confused."

He moved fast, and appears right in front of her. She stared up at him, still wide-eyed.

When she starts to cry, he draws her towards him and lets her wet his robes. She stays like that for a while, just standing there being hugged, until she brings her own arms up and embraces him back. When she accidentally starts hugging too hard and hurting his ribs, he doesn't say anything.

She does however, notice when she breaks one of them.

"O-Oh my God, Gaara! I'm so sorry! Wait, I'll heal you... Sorry... Stupid..."

She quickly rubs her eyes with her sleeve and trails off into muttering as she concentrates. He smiles, wishing she would stick her tongue out in concentration.

Whens shes finished he gently finds her hands and clasps them between his.

"Sakura, if you wish to return to Konoha, you may. If you ever feel like coming back, you always can." He leans forward, slowly pressing a kiss onto her forehead. "I will be waiting."

And he disappears.

Sakura blinks then smiles, then she laughs. How well that man knew her, when she thought she was changing! Yes, she would go back to Konoha, stay for a while, then she would go back to him. Gaara kept to his word, and she was sure that even if she came back in five years he still wouldn't be with another woman.

He trusted her to come back to him, and he had realised how deeply she missed her home.

Turning and starting to walk once more, she doesn't stop smiling.

She got what she wanted, a hug. She sniffs her shoulder and nearly laughs again. She smells like him. She shakes her head and knew that she would straighten her feelings out long enough... Probably when she started missing that man more than she ever had Konoha.

_'I'm an idiot, huh?'_

Inner Sakura thinks in despair. Sakura laughs and walks faster.

_'Yeah, would you look at that... Already you want to get to Konoha quicker so you can be back in his arms sooner.'_

"'Back in his arms?' How very _romantic _of you!"

Sakura expected a quick, sharp, inventive retort.

_'Shut up.'_

"...And that wasn't it."

_'I said _shut up_!'_

"God, you are as stupid as me, huh?"

_'SHUT UP!'_

Sakura laughs.

*

Well, a bit different for me I think. But I hope you likey!! Read, you must have done to get to this so I won't ask you for that, review... Maybe xD


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